The cockroach book of Alison’s perverted stalker

Remember this children’s classic? You probably don’t because we made it up. But this is your chance to write your own novel (within the confines of our message character limit).

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Timmy really is a dirty little shit, isn’t he? Even in the 60s, a time when pregnant women both drank and smoked, looking up girls’ skirts was frowned upon.

Remember this children’s classic? You probably don’t because we made it up. But this is your chance to write your own novel (within the confines of our message character limit).

Perhaps it’s about your buddy, who we’ll call Timmy, who just won’t stop obsessing about that girl.

Or maybe your buddy, who we’ll call Alison, always attracts that kinda guy who is just a little too intense.

This is the perfect birthday card for the Alisons and the Timmys of this world.